A turning point for me was when I realized - roughly around the time I turned 30 - that what I felt in my heart was a good show/set/song didn't need to be validated or verified by any other people, even if I really, really respected their opinions on other shows. That made a big difference, and released me from feeling so personally affected or bummed out after reading someone's negative opinion about a show that touched me profoundly.

But: The great thing about being a phan, is that there is always someone who knows more, has heard more or seen more shows than you. That's why I enjoy reading fan commentary, and think the discussion, no matter how crazy or snarky or whatever, is part of what makes being part of this community so great. Additionally, I would never have discovered half the shows I love if it wasn't for someone posting about it on .net, usually buried deep within a thread about something unrelated.