My first Phish show. Allow me to explain the long adventure that allowed this to happen.

The shows were announced. The lottery was opened. I submitted my chance into the lottery almost immediately. I did not win the lottery. I immediately scurried to COT to find someone who did and was going to sell their ticket. -$100 and ticket secured.

In the midst of all this adrenaline, I had yet to consider one thing; my parents. I was not willing to reveal to them possibly one of the trashiest things one can possibly confess to: being a Phish fan. I was especially worried about my mother, who becomes a paranoid wreck every time I go outside by myself. The show reels closer and closer, and my anxiety keeps piling on. But I devise a plan; on Tuesday, I tell my dad I have plans to go see a movie with my friend in Hollywood on Friday night. He's cool with it. The next obstacle; my phone's GPS. The fix is simple; I dig up my old phone from years back and change my GPS to come from that phone. I quite admired the phone case I had on it, but it was made of some cheap silicone, and I had found the phone covered in this sticky slime that came from the phone case melting around it. A tragedy indeed; I wipe it down and plug it in and see a time machine from ancient worrski history. This may all go according to plan, I thought, but I couldn't be further from the truth.

On the day of the show I pack my two phones into my pocket. I head out in my mother's SUV and drive to my first stop, a movie theater in Hollywood, to keep up this illusion. I decide to do the phone location switchover at an intersection with notoriously long red lights. Stopped, I go into the old phone's settings when I face possibly the biggest setback in my adventure; my phone was refusing to connect to any WiFi. I tried every possible attempt to heal the symptoms, but none affected the cause. This phone was broken, and the only way I'd be able to fix it was to go to an Apple store, which I had zero time for. I would not be able to resolve the location issue, and I thought it was game over. I was heartbroken, I had lost the battle and would not be able to make it to the show. My new plan was to drive on the way to the theater anyways, and eventually make a u-turn back home in defeat. I'd tell my parents that my friend had cancelled last minute on me, and I'd go to my room and attempt to sadly watch a stream of the show.

When driving on the freeway to nowhere I was suddenly starstruck by motivation. The night before was the 20th of April, and to celebrate I had watched the 2004 cinematic masterpiece Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. A personal favorite of mine, I was randomly thinking of the beautiful coming of age film and the many themes it depicted. Arguably, Harold and Kumar had much more in their way to White Castle than I did to the Hollywood Bowl. I won't get too into it, if you haven't seen the movie I insist you stop reading and give it a watch before coming back to this long winded ramble of a "review". I began to realize that if these fictional movie characters could overcome numerous obstacles to make it to the place they truly desired to be, there's nothing stopping me from doing the same. I hyped myself up in a mania and decided to go with Plan B; I'd have to turn off both phones' connections and undertake the journey from the movie theater to the Bowl completely offline. This was by far the worst case scenario and would raise suspicion, but I assured myself it would all work out. "If phans could complete their voyages completely offline back in 1.0, why can't I?" I knew that I had to follow through and absolutely couldn't stand down. "What if they play another monster jam like they did in Berkeley? What if they play an extended 2001? What if they play Down with Disease?" I said to myself. I knew I would be kicking myself if I missed it, just like I did when they last came to town on October 24, 2021 (granted, I knew there was no way I could make that one lmao). I had to keep going, I was gonna do anything for rock and roll.

I arrive at the movie theater. I text my dad that the movie theater "doesn't allow phones", so I'd be going offline from there on out until the "movie" ends. I drive a couple blocks to the Bowl, giggling at every "EXPECT HEAVY TRAFFIC; BOWL EVENTS APR 21-23" display on the road. Memorizing the GPS directions I read before going offline, I snake around Hollywood until I make it to the nightmare that is Hollywood Bowl's Lot B. Doesn't matter, I park and run towards the seas of people. Old boomers, frat douchebags, hippie nerds, families with small children, bootleg shirt sellers, performers busking with bucket drumming and singing puppets, and men with large stainless steel tanks yelling "ICE COLD FATTIESSSS!". There was barely a "Shakedown", although I assumed I probably wasn't looking hard enough. Ideally, I'd be there hours early chomping down grilled cheeses and "vegan" brownies, but that dream was long gone and I was only looking forward to being in my seat when the show starts. The line through the metal detectors was slow and never seemed to move, but somehow I got in. Gliding up escalators and running through the paths, I enter the walls of the kingdom around 7:35. Despite living in the Los Angeles area all my life, this was my first time inside the Bowl. Sure, I'd been inside the Greek Theatre the previous October for my other rock heroes Porcupine Tree, but this was the Bowl. It was grand. It was beautiful. I had sensed this feeling of peace, that now I now longer had to worry as I had made it.

I sat next to this very kind older couple, both of which looked like they'd came straight out of a photograph in the Haight-Ashbury dated 1969. They saw I was a bit younger and alone and they gave me a water from the stand. I also sat next to this bro-dude named Jason who'd ask me all these questions "Do you get down with Phish? What's your favorite instrument in this band?" etc, along with these strange non-sequiturs about seconds and time and whatever which gave me the assumption he was tripping balls.

First set is suuuper funky and danceable. Moma opener kicks it OFF, Sigma Oasis and Party Time are real groovers, Page is on fire this entire time. Rocked out to the somewhat-rare Strawberry Letter 23 and got a real nice Everything's Right jam locked in. I'm not too big on Shade but it was a well deserved cool down. Funky Bitch keeps the vibes going and they wrap up the first set with AWOH, Trey's personal favorite jam vehicle as of late.

I walk laps around the venue during setbreak because Jason was being a real chomper, not like I could blame him or anything. I saw CK5 up close in his booth taking his break, and while I chose not to bug him (not like I could through the glass) it really put into perspective that I was suddenly in the same shed as all these mythically talented folks I've adored over the past two or so years. I begin to worry that maybe this plan won't work as well as I thought, but that all went away when Phish came back on stage.

They start the set with a fairly usual Sample in a Jar, which allows us to get the vibe of more to come. Then Mike starts playing a dark funky riff and I go insane. DOWN WITH MOTHERFUCKING DISEASE. Right then I knew this entire adventure had paid off. And not JUST DwD, but a GRAND 21 min type II BEAST of a DwD. They go DARK, they go AMBIENT, they PEAK, literally EXACTLY what I wished for. It's almost as if they played it just for me. They go into Mercury, and then wrap it up with a SUPER CLEAN segue into BLAZE ON. I knew they had just played it in Seattle, so maybe I was a little bummed we wouldn't be getting a whole tour of no repeats (what I didn't know is that they also played Moma in Seattle lmao) but I don't mind getting that Blaze On because it's one of my personal favorites of Trey's sometimes hit-or-miss wholesome post-sobriety feel-good songwriting. And they jam it good so that helps. My second first show wish comes true shortly after; they kick into that classic YEM intro and the crowd lights up. While I'm not a YEM worshipper or anything, I felt so rewarded that my first show just happened to have their most popular song. They end the second set with Cavern, and in that moment it just felt like the perfect show closer.

Their one encore pick was Drift While You're Sleeping, which I didn't get to hear all of because it was getting late. Perhaps it's attendance bias, but this show was the show that got me to appreciate this song, after previously not being much of a fan. Regardless, I was worried my plan would mess up, so I started running to the car. After fifteen minutes of getting out of Bowl parking (ugh), I speed through the empty Los Angeles freeway system like a fucking movie. Everything about the night just felt so awesome I couldn't believe it was real. I truly fucking did it. I somehow manage to make it back before midnight, and I tell my parents all about the movie I watched. I go to bed, noticing that somehow I fucking did it. Everything went perfect. Or at least, I had thought so.

I wake up to my dad asking me again if I liked the movie. I said some shit about how it was a good movie but I slept through a bit of it. Then he fucking hits me out of nowhere with the "You didn't go to that movie." I had just woken up, but that shocked me awake completely. I thought I had made it, but it was completely over. I was done. After like thirty minutes of him interrogating me he somehow gets it out of me that I went to go see Phish. I was defeated. He wasn't nearly as mad as I'd thought he'd be, finding out that his child was not just a liar but a fucking Phish fan, so I was a little relieved, but still recognized that all-in-all my plan had failed. I had lost, but I had also won.

I read the dotnet recap/setlist, I read the Discord for what people thought of it. For those who've made it through this entire ramble, congrats. I guess what I'm trying to say this whole time, is that I can't complain. Sure, one could say this show didn't have nearly as much jams as they wanted it to. People are probably complaining a shit ton about the setlist being dominated by songs only introduced in the past 15 years. But I couldn't, because I couldn't let all that all be for nothing. That was a fucking adventure, and I couldn't ask for more coming from my first Phish show. Harold and Kumar would probably be proud. I pray Vegas is next this year.